My mother passed away four months ago today. I can’t believe it’s been that long and at the same time it seems like its been a very long time.
Stages of Grief
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross became well-known when she identified the stages of grief. I’ve experienced all five: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. But it doesn’t happen in sequential order and it doesn’t mean you can’t be experiencing more than one at a time. I was angry at the same time I was in denial.
My primary care physician sent me for grief counseling when I was in the Depression stage. At that point I was crying every day and my mind kept mulling over what happened anytime I had time to think.
A Turning Point
One day I woke up and didn’t think about losing mom all day. I haven’t gone a whole week without crying yet but I am going for days without doing so. It’s now just a fact that my sisters, brother and I lost our mom rather suddenly…four months ago.
My concentration has improved and I actually feel like doing my job when I’m at work. Its nice not to be fighting for that motivation.
Counseling does not get credit for this turnaround as I just saw the therapist once. The solution was just the passage of time. It really does heal (or at least scab over) wounds.
Still in Our Thoughts
Yesterday as I was walking upstairs in my house I had an urge to call Mom. It’d been a nice day and I wanted to tell her what was going on. I had forgotten, for just a moment, that I couldn’t talk to mom.
I know this first year is the hardest and it will be better. So for today, I’ll just realize it’s the four month anniversary of the day that changed me forever. Love you, Mom!